Empathy
by Rae F. Scott
Summary: So, I found the time and inspiration to upload another chapter. This will definitely be the last one. NJOY once more ! Greg hallucinates... and more...
1. Wake Up Call

A/N: This is my first HMD fic so please be nice. I haven't seen all episodes because I just discovered House and I think it's the best show on TV at the moment. I love him for being so mean. I used the empathy thing in one of my Star Wars stories but this time, I at least try to explain it medically. Don't know if that makes sense. I just think that a strange character could interfere better in the House/Cameron relationship. Long story short, I just use her to get House closer to Cam. I hope you enjoy. R&R would be nice. The lines in italics are House's thoughts. Hope he's not too much out of character. And please, if there are any grammar mistakes or words that I used but don't really exist - correct me ! I'm still German g.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show. Pity…

Empathy

1. Wake Up Call

As she woke up in the morning, her eyes were blinded by the harsh white light in the room. Pain flooded her body when she tried to move a little bit. And she had a strong headache. And even though it felt as if her brain would explode the next second, she managed to ignore it perfectly. Not because it was less painful today, but because meanwhile she had gotten used to it. The first thing to do in the morning was always trying to recognize the place where she currently was. The tumour in her head made her sometimes forget what had happened the night before. Just like this morning. She had no idea where she was and how she had gotten there. But she always expected to be in a hospital when she woke up in a strange place. This time she stared into four faces looking down on her. They were talking about her, she was well aware of that. But she did not understand so much because doctors use to speak their own weird language, using words that she did not know. They had not realized that she was awake yet. They just went on with their business. One of them was different. He looked unfriendly and not very much interested in her at a first look. But when she looked harder, she could see an emotion crossing his face. It was only for milliseconds but she could clearly see it. She knew that kind of look. It was telling her the same everytime she ended up in an hospital. She would die. And although the mean-looking and unfriendly man tried not to show any feelings, she was still able to see that he failed.

"Grace Dawson, 21. Has an inoperable tumour in her brain. It causes unconsciousness, headache and loss of memory. Someone found her on the street last night and brought her here. She probably does not even know where she is right now." Cameron explained, holding Grace's file in her hands. "They give her one more year." She added, looking at the small figure in the bed. Her face was pale and surrounded by the dark hair, her eyes still closed.

_Always look on the bright side of death. Du du du du du du du du…_

"So this is not an interesting case for us, right ?" House enquired.

_Boring. Absolutely boring. Why do they always call me for brain tumours. It's ridiculous. _

"Shouldn't we check that out first ? It's brain cancer. It should be of your interest." Cameron returned harshly.

_No we shouldn't._

"You just said it: Inoperable brain tumour. She'll die of it. Case closed." He grunted and gave her a dark look.

She slightly opened her eyes again as she listened to them arguing. Lots of emotions filled the room. Anger. Hatred. Bitterness. Tension. A touch of love. She could almost see the fire burning between the beauty and the beast. But there was also something between them that made her sad. A misunderstanding. A fight for pride. Broken hearts. And a lot of pain. She watched the scene for a while, listened to them arguing about her disease and certain death. Then she decided to interfere.

"Mornin' guys…", she yawned. "What a nice way to be waken up." Sarcasm was dripping off her voice. She looked at House and Cameron who suddenly turned silent and stared at her in embarrassment.

"I apologize. We didn't mean to…" Cameron started but Grace quickly cut her off.

_Oh please, Cameron ! Why apologize ? I'm sure she knows that she'll die._

"No apologies please. And no pity. I beg you. So many people feel pity for my situation that it's enough for two lives. Why don't we start with a simple question: Where am I exactly?" she asked.

"Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Someone found you lying unconscious on the street last night." Chase answered.

"Do you know why you're here, Grace ?" Cameron inquired.

"I assume it's because the damn golf ball in my head knocked me out once more, huh ?!"

_She's got humour. Nice. _

"Exactly. Can't do anything for you I guess. Get her on morphine.We're done here. Can we leave then ?" House said roughly and got a shocked look from Cameron. She walked over to him and grabbed him by his arm.

"Could I speak to you for a minute ?" she whispered angrily.

_You're always the only one who's allowed to argue with me._

"No." he returned shortly.

"Come with me, Doctor, I need to talk to you… right away !"

She pushed him out of the room and closed the door behind them.

"What kind of a man are you ? This girl is dying and you behave like… like an asshole. Can't you behave yourself not even for a few minutes ? Do you always have to be… you ?" she argued.

_Oh, here we go again…_

"I thought you wanted me to be myself."

_Now that was mean. I didn't mean to be mean right now, did I ? Maybe I did. Oh no, that hurt her too much. Maybe I should think of a new way to torture her than the date… I've got plenty of ideas._

"Not in front of a patient."

"She doesn't want any comforting from us. She said it clearly: No pity, no apologies – please ! I like her attitude."

_I really do. I still know how to surprise myself._

"But a little respect would be appropriate. Don't you think so ?"

_You're gorgeous when you're mad at me. Keep going._

"You should know me better by now, Cameron." He replied and walked away.

Grace had watched them argue through the window. She noticed Cameron's face expression that spoke to her of hurt and need for comfort. Something the man had said to her must have had a deeper meaning to her. Something personal. His face on the other hand had not shown much emotion. It had been hard to look through him. But not impossible. As she watched them dispute, she was slowly taken to sleep by the morphine Chase had just injected her.

TBC...


	2. Do Me A Favour

2. Do Me A Favour

She was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he entered the room. Grace Dawson was lost in thoughts about lots of things although her mind was not completely clear. She hated hospitals. Too many emotions around. Too many details. Too many feelings.

House limped to her bed and sat down in the chair that was next to it. He let out a faked cough to catch her attention but she did not move. She just kept lying there staring. He did not even know why he came here.

_For God's sake ! What am I doing here ? Who forced me to do this ? Ah, yeah... Cameron. I always wonder why I listen to her anyway._

"I'm awake and not dead yet. What's up ?" she said with a monotone voice, still not looking at House.

"Uhm… Not much so far."

"Great. Why are you here then ?" she asked with not much interest.

"I'm the doctor, you're the patient. It's my job to look after you every now and then. You know, check if you're still breathing."

"You weren't interested seven hours ago. What changed your mind ?"

"Ah… first of all, I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Dr. Gregory House."

"Nice to met you, Dr. H., H.G., Gregory, Greg the wreck, Greggy… How do you like Greggy ? I like it. Sounds funny. Now get to the point, you see I'm pretty busy right now." She said sarcastically. House couldn't help but smile at that. He could not remember anyone giving him stupid nicknames. Nor could he think of any patient who reminded him so much of himself.

"Cameron wants me to apologize for being myself." He said.

"Cameron, huh ? The gorgeous woman who was arguing with you ?" she chuckled. "_Oh yeah… both a little scared, neither one prepared… beauty and the beast…She's so in love with you, baby…"_ she started singing very much off key, then started to burst into laughter. "Sorry, doc. Think I'm high, but still totally honest. I like your shoes." She said as she took a look at House's sneakers.

"Uhm… Thanks. Yes… Cameron… Me, I don't want to apologize. It's against my nature." Grace smiled at that one.

"Never mind. Tell her I figured that you're an idiot and I forgive you. How d'you like 'In Loving Memory' by Alter Bridge ?" she changed the topic. He gave her a confused look.

"The song. 'In Loving Memory' is a song by Alter Bridge. And Alter Bridge is a band that used to name Creed until singer Scott Stapp left it. New singer, new name, same music." She explained with annoyance, then started to giggle again.

"Never heard of them. Don't know the song. How much painkillers did you get ?"

"I must be pretty much full of shit, huh ? Back to topic: How about 'Angel' or 'Full of Grace' by Sarah McLachlan ? I like 'Full of Grace' because it has my name in it."

"No idea."

"'My Immortal' by Evanescence ?" He shook his head.

"Hmm. I guessed that. When do you think I can leave ?" she wanted to know and finally looked at him.

"Not yet. We'll have to put you through a couple of tests before you can go." He answered and Grace could see a slight emotion crossing his face again. Once more he had put on the you're-going-to-die look.

"Tests ? What kinds of tests ?"

"Simply expressed, we try to make your inoperable tumour operable."

"And you thought I'd agree to this ?" she questioned roughly.

_She doesn't agree to it ? Thought she wanted to go on living. Weird kid._

"I take it that means you're not agreeing…" he returned.

"Not in a million years. I'm feeling great, the headache is gone."

_Because you're full of drugs._

"I hate to be the one to spoil it all but your headache is gone only because of the painkillers we have given to you. Plus, this might be your last chance. Are you having these blackouts on a regular basis ?" Grace nodded.

"Since two months I'm having them three to four times a week."

_Worse than I thought._

"See, your brain scan showed a rapid growth of the tumour. I might find a way to solve the problem. But if you don't agree then you're going to…"

"Die. I know, so spare me, OK ? Why do you think I'm choosing songs for my funeral." she cut him off.

_Yeah. That's what this do-you-know-this-song-thing is all about… How could you not know that… You dealing good with it. I rarely see that. Doesn't mean I like you at all._

"So you're familiar with the facts. Great, then you saved my time and I don't have to explain you the details."

"One more year." She began. "I was told about the possibility of an operation. But I'm not willing to take the risk. They said it's nearly impossible to perform the operation without a permanent brain damage, which means I'd spend the rest of my life lying in my bed, depending on other people's help, not being able to speak, to eat by myself or anything else. I don't want to lose who I am. And I want to enjoy the rest of my life. And considering the fact that it won't be that long anymore, it would be very important to me to leave this place. You feel me ?" Grace explained and started to sing again.

_"I'm leaving… on a damn bloody jet plane… I know I'll never… be back again."_

_I got that. Oh please, don't look at me like that. Stop reading my mind, it drives me mad. You have no right to read my mind. Maybe I should stop thinking so she can't read my mind. Cut it, House ! She can't read people's minds. She's but a girl with a brain tumour. She's crazy._

"Alright, you're sure about not having the probably possible and successful brain surgery ?" he once more asked. Grace replied with a nod.

"But you could do me a favour." She added.

"Anything I might regret afterwards ?"

"Nope. Just check my mp3-player and tell me which song you'd pick for my funeral. You look like you've got a good taste when it comes to music. Although I don't think that many people will mourn me. Still, I want a good song to be played." She told him slightly smiling.

"You're dying. If that's all I can do for you, it would be a pleasure for me." He returned. As soon as he had ended the sentence, he shook his head and put on a strange face.

_Did I just say that ? Can't be. Maybe I'm a split personality and my other self just took control over my body. Oh God, that was so pathetic ! That's the result of talking to patients. You turn into a soppy idiot. Whatever. Maybe she has some good stuff on this thing._

"Well, I'm leaving you to your business then. Whatever that means." He muttered, got off the seat and limped towards the door, holding the mp3-player tight in his hands.

"See you, Doc Greggy. Nice conversation. The best I had in years." She said into his direction. He did not turn around. He did not want her to see the slender smile on his face. He did not want her to know that he started to like her.

TBC...


	3. The Gift

A/N: Sorry, I messed things up. Forgot to post a chappi. Hope this doesn't confuse you too much ! 1000 times sorry !

The Gift

Twenty-four hours had passed since House had visited her. She was studying the details of her room. The white walls and the insensitive light made her somehow feel uncomfortable. There were no flowers on the nightstand next to her bed. And there certainly wouldn't be any flowers tomorrow. Nobody would come to visit her except the doctors and nurses and she did not expect them to bring her any flowers. There was not even a TV or some magazines. She was sentenced to extreme boredom and she did not know how long she could take the silence and the loneliness. She thought of escaping from the hospital but the idea disappeared from her mind quickly. She would break down and end up here again. Her thoughts drifted to Cameron and House again. They were kind of weird. She believed that they must be extremely damaged in their brains. Even more damaged than herself. Why else would they act in such a childish and stupid way. They were sending upset glances to each other and kept on hurting themselves. And all of that just because something went terribly wrong in their past. She had been able to sense the tension between them. While she kept thinking about them, the door suddenly opened and one half of the weird couple entered. It was the woman with the hair like raven wings and the perfect face. Cameron. The one who had been arguing with House about her. Probably the only one he cared about although he did not show it in public.

"Hi Grace. How are you ?" she asked with a gentle voice.

"Pretty good. You ?" Cameron looked at her in surprise because she had not expected a patient to ask her that.

"Uhm… well, yeah. I'm OK, thank you."

"What are you doing there ?" Grace wanted to know while Cameron was preparing the morphine injection for the transfusion.

"Just something to keep you pain-free." She answered, still very focused on the needle.

"Is that really necessary ? It's really hard stuff that you gave me yesterday. I was singing stupid songs all day long." Grace returned slightly smiling.

"We don't want you to become unconscious again. And neither do we want you to be in pain." Cameron returned.

"So if you're goin' to visit me during the next couple of hours, I'd advise you to protect your ears." She joked.

"I'll take it under consideration… I'm sorry for yesterday morning. I'd like to apologize for my boss." She unexpectedly changed the subject.

"The mean one ?" she inquired. Cameron nodded.

"Yes. That would be Dr. House. You have to forgive him. It's not you, it's him. He's always like that. I just felt like telling you." She explained with bitterness in her voice.

"Good ol' Greggy was here yesterday." She told her. Cameron could not help but laugh at Grace calling House 'Greggy'. It was too ridiculous.

"He was ? Doesn't sound like him." Cameron wondered, still laughing.

"I have already forgiven him. He's an idiot... and a broken man. I feel sorry for him." Grace returned with a sad smile on her lips. Cameron looked at her in surprise.

"You do ? I mean… he's being a bastard and you feel sorry for him ?"

"Of course I do. This man is fighting his own sadness and sorrow every second of his life. He is alone and tries to stay alone even though he's longing for company so badly. He can't open up to anyone. He is wounded deeply. And now I'm not talking about his damaged leg."

"Are you still talking about House ?" Cameron was stunned. She had never seen House with the eyes of the girl lying in front of her.

"The hell I am. And you'll see it, too. Just look harder." She answered.

"I tried to. But he's House. He's wearing a mask that I can't look through. None of us here can." She said with a sad voice. She remembered her disaster of a date with House and it suddenly felt as if someone was stabbing a knife right into her heart.

"You have feelings for him, haven't you ?"

"I don't think we should talk about that."

"Oh c'mon, I know you're curious and you're here because you want to talk about that. Because you're fascinated with me for some reason and because you know that I can look through him and bare his soul to you." She said with a slender grin on her lips. Cameron could not tell exactly why she wanted Grace to know about all of this. Maybe she just felt like talking to somebody who might understand her.

"He keeps pushing me away. He hates me. And he doesn't leave out a moment to show me how much." Cameron started.

"He doesn't hate you. He needs you and that scares him. His face lightens up whenever he says your name." Grace smiled.

"I don't think so. Never noticed that."

"But I did."

"How can you say such things about other people without even knowing them ? I mean, you have seen him for like a couple of minutes and think you know him ? We've worked together for years and not even I do really know who Greg House is in reality."

"Well. First of all, he spend about twenty minutes here, which is more than enough time for me to analyze someone's feelings. And for the reason why I can do so… It's the cancer in my brain…" She began to explain.

TBC...


	4. You Can't Save Everybody

A/N: First of all thx to all the reviewers. Little Cam/House moment here. And: House is not going to hook up with Grace ! Promised. This is planned to be an H/C story, so don't worry. Now NJOY !

You Can't Save Everybody

Cameron found House sitting in his office, listening to music on an mp3-player. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be very concentrated on the song he was listening to.

"House ? House !" she shouted so he could hear her.

_Dammit ! I really enjoyed this song._

"Hm ?" he responed, eyes still closed.

"What are you doing ?" He took off the headphones, opened his eyes and looked at Cameron standing pretty close to his desk.

_She'll think I'm an asshole if I tell her._

"Checking out some songs for Grace Dawson's funeral." He answered while writing something down on a piece of paper. Cameron stared at him, mouth opened, in shock. He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

_Knew it._

"You're a sick man. Shouldn't you be working on a plan that could avoid her funeral ?" she asked furiously.

_Woohoo ! Can't help it but I love it when you're yelling at me. Makes you look extremely sexy. _

"Relax, Cameron. She asked me to do it and to answer your question: No, I'm not planning to cure her because she doesn't want to be cured. She's right about the operation. It is a high risk and it's very likely that her brain would get damaged during the process." He groaned.

"Why have you been visiting her ?" she enquired with interest lying in her voice.

_That's a question I still can't really answer for myself. What do I tell her ? Think, think, think… Ah, yeah, right._

"Because _you_ keep telling me that I should get in touch with my patients. And moreover because it was once more _you_ who wanted me to apologize to her." Cameron looked at him in disbelief. Apparently, she was waiting for another answer.

_Don't think she bought it._

"By the way, she's only got four months left." He added as if it was meaningless, in order to distract her from her question.

_Hah ! I'm such a genius._

"How do you know ?"

"Checked her MRI. Did you know that she has these blackouts regularly ?" She shook her head. "Well, the tumour is growing rapidly. Accordingly, her headaches get worse and the number of her blackouts grows proportionally to the tumour."

"Can't there be done anything about it ?" she asked worriedly.

"Nope. I mean, we could. But not without making an invalid. And she said 'no' anyway. But we might consider taking her off the morphine. She's going crazy and sings nerve-killing songs. She ain't a good singer, not at all." He tried to joke but Cameron did not laugh. She did not even smile.

_Welcome to reality. You can't save everybody._

"We can't help her and you know that. She knows that, too and I think she's OK with it. Now stop to feel guilty. It's not your fault, OK ? Unless you're planning to kill her and make that plan come to reality. Then it'd be your fault."

This time, Cameron managed to put on a slight smile, which was returned by House before he put on the headphones again. Cameron gazed at him listening to the music for a short while. Then she turned around and left without a word, not realizing that he was slightly opening his eyes again to watch her walk out his office.

TBC


	5. The Buried Feelings

A/N: I really wasn't sure if I should post this chapter. It's kind of weird but still funny I think. Just had to write down this. Beat me if you don't like it. I sometimes have stupid ideas… ;-)

Chappi is divided into three parts. In the first part, it's Cameron thinking in italics, in the third part, it's House's thoughts again. Complicated, ain't it ?! Whatever, on with the story. NJOY !

The Buried Feelings

Almost four days had passed since she had found herself being at PPTH. She eventually had agreed to stay a couple of days for more tests and examinations, although she had always known that there wouldn't be any new results. Still, House had been very persuasive. Cameron had visited her a few times because she felt deep sympathy for the girl. Nobody had come to see her, except a guy named Colin. But he had only brought her books and cigarettes and had left after half an hour. Whenever Cameron had been sitting with her, Grace had made a couple of comments on her relationship with House, had tried to explain her, what was behind the façade and although she was not sure if she really believed Grace, her words were like a cure for her heart that he had wounded so deeply. The option that his behaviour might probably have more reasons than just his excuse that he did not even like her made her feel better about the whole situation. House on the other hand avoided her room. At least he pretended to do so. But when the ducklings had gone to lunch, he took the time for a little conversation with her, although most of the time, she was just amusing him with the irrational, painkiller-caused phrases that left her mouth . But of course he kept this to himself. Grace had somehow fascinated him with her spirit and her unbreakable will to live and seize every day. Furthermore, she seemed to be the only patient who had ever dared to throw a mirror at him. He liked the fact that she was offensive and always said what she thought. But he also felt exposed in her presence and that was something he did not like at all. Still Grace kept confronting him with some new stuff she had somehow found out about him. And astonishingly, whenever she told him something about his innermost, she did not sound foolish or pathetic. Opposite, she was even more sarcastic than himself and she was definitely not afraid of calling him names. She was just being honest and definitely not a liar. He thought that the honesty was probably what he liked the most about her.

"Hi, Kid." He said as he entered her room that day.

"Doc ! Who's this ?" she asked smiling when she realized that someone else was with him.

"That would be Dr. Wilson, friend of mine. Wilson, this is Grace, the brain tumour." He introduced them to each other.

"Ah, nice to meet you Grace… House ? Can I finally put this thing down ?" he said. Grace laughed warmly at the figure whose face was hidden by a huge box he was trying to balance.

"Your friend is a speaking box !" she put on a big grin and started giggling right away. She had already had her daily doze of morphine and was once more not able to say anything that would have made sense.

"Yeah, tomorrow, I'll introduce you to my laughing toaster." House joked and ordered Wilson to put the box down on the second bed in the room.

"What's in there ?" she asked curiously.

"Surprise, surprise !" House murmured when he was unwrapping the box.

Cameron could not believe her eyes when she walked by Grace's room. At first she thought she was hallucinating when she saw House lying on the bed next to Grace's, eating popcorn. But when she slowly opened the door to enter, she realized that she was not.

_I'm on a bad trip, am I ? _

She slightly smiled at the picture in front of her as House turned his head to see her standing in the doorway.

_No, I'm not crazy. This is definitely House watching TV with Grace Dawson. He's laughing. It's good to see him laugh. He rarely does that._

"Cameron ! Hi." He greeted with a friendly voice. Cameron was stunned by the sound of his words. He did not sound like House.

_Who is this guy ? He looks like House, but House is not friendly. House does not look at me this way, House treats me like garbage. House is never nice. But today he is…_

"What are you guys doing here ?" she asked, staring at them. Grace chuckled like a little child.

"I dunno. Should be bungee jumping in San Francisco right now." She said slowly.

_Painkillers speaking._

"I thought she could use some entertainment. Otherwise, the Kid would've died of boredom by now." House explained.

_Why do you care ? You never do._

"He brought me… let Doc Wilson bring me a TV." Grace answered, putting another hand full of popcorn into her mouth.

_Knew it. He does like her. He opens up to her. This is a real good thing. Or he just thinks she's funny because she's high._

"We're watching the latest episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. It's fun. Care to join us ?" he added grinning. Cameron, still astounded, shook her head.

_He knows that I'd love to but I can't stay. I mustn't give him the feeling that he has power over me. Even though he has._

"Oh no, I don't think… I mean… I have work to do." She stuttered.

_Yeah right, Allison. That was brilliant. He's my boss and when he says I can have a break, why would I have to work ? I'm an idiot._

"C'mon ! Just for a couple of minutes. I hear your boss says it's OK." He said with a begging face expression while he motioned for Cameron to sit down next to him.

_Can't say no. When do I get the chance to be this close to him again ? I am so pitiful. Why can't I resist him ? But I'm definitely not gonna sit next to him on this bed… No way._

She placed herself on the chair next to the bed, still feeling a little uncomfortable. She was thankful for the chair, so she did not have to sit too close to him. Somehow with House, everything was a mess. She still had feelings for him, but she had them under control, buried them deep within her soul. On the other hand, she could not handle being so close to him, because she did not want him to push her away again. Cameron had become careful. She tried to protect herself from being hurt. She would not let him harm her again.

She suddenly realized that someone's heart was beating faster. And when she felt a cold rush running down her spine as his eyes rested on her, she noticed that it was hers. He could still make her feel nervous and shaky with only one look. The next moment Cameron regretted to be in Grace's room with the two of them. Not because she did not enjoy House's company, opposite, she really did. But she also felt feelings coming up, trying to reach the surface. Feelings that she had tried to suppress for quite a long time. And now they were there, even stronger than ever before. All these emotions that flood your body when you're in love for the very first time. Butterflies in the stomach, shaky knees, trembling hands, the sickness that makes you want to throw up but still feels so good and right. That was when she lost control over her feelings. That was when he unburied them. She did not want to long for him but now she did. The unusual joyful expression on his face made her want him like nothing else in the world. And Grace, although full of morphine, noticed every single emotion that was crossing her face.

This is wrong. This is so horribly wrong. I should leave. Immediately.

Grace looked at Cameron intensely. She certainly had remarked every single glance she and House had exchanged and Cameron could see that Grace watched them as if she was reading a book. She was reading them. As she returned the look, she thought she could see Grace's eyes sparkling, looking through her, as if they'd try to tell her something. As she glimpsed to House again, Grace put on a warm and contented smile.

And when he looked at her once more, his mouth full of popcorn, offering her some, too, her heartbeat slowed down and her tensed body relaxed again. In that moment, she could not help but laugh out loudly. She did not want to go. She wanted to enjoy the moment and to seize it.

"Now look at this…" Foreman smirked at the weird picture they were watching from outside the room.

"What's going on in there ?" Chase muttered.

"Obviously they're watching 'Grey's Anatomy' and eat popcorn." Foreman laughed, shaking his head.

"The perfect family portrait. It's ridiculous." Chase replied and turned away.

"Do I hear jealousy speaking ?"

"Shut up." Chase grunted and left Foreman alone.

"What's so fascinating ?" he suddenly heard Cuddy's voice behind him.

"House, Cameron and the brain tumour kid." He murmured. Cuddy took a closer look at the scene and put on a smile.

"Don't you have work to do, Dr. Foreman ?" she asked while moving on. He followed her down the hallway.

"Uhm… does that mean you're not going to interrupt this… movie session ?" he enquired in disbelief.

"Are you kidding ? House finally seems to care about someone else but himself. I admit, it's an uncommon way to do so, but he still _does_ care about the her."

"Who of them ?" Foreman asked glancing at Cameron sitting in the chair next to House and at Grace, who had just spitted out a handful of popcorn and burst into laughter.

"Both." Cuddy returned with a meaningful smile. "And as long as he's in there, he doesn't get into trouble elsewhere, right ?" she returned and left a confused Foreman behind.

When Grace had fallen asleep at the end of the episode, Cameron and House both had decided to leave her to her rest.

"This was weird." She murmured, walking next to him.

"What was weird ?"

"You. I mean, you really sacrificed your time for her. That's so not you. It was weird. You like her, don't you ?" she asked with a slight grin on her face.

_Maybe. I'm not quite sure. A little. She's cool. I'm sorry for her._

"Nah ! She's entertaining me. It's fun to talk to a patient who's completely off his mind and full of drugs. She's saying stupid things. She is amusing me."

"She makes you laugh. She makes you feel good." Cameron corrected him.

_In a way… yes. But still, I can't save her._

"Cameron, is there something you wanna tell me ?"

"Why can't you just admit that you like her and that you feel sympathy for her ?"

_Because then I'd be weak. I don't want you to see my weaknesses. Not yet._

"Because I don't. She will die. Meaning I'm not of a use for her. Consequently, I can't do my job. And I have to watch her die slowly. How could that make me feel good ?" he returned gruffly.

_Damn, now she knows that I for whatever reason care about the Kid. You just can't keep your mouth shut, House. Idiot._

"Oh, shut it ! It was only yesterday when you told me that I shouldn't feel guilty for her fate."

_Don't know if I feel guilty. But I certainly feel helpless. Seen many people die of that disease. But I never really liked one of them. I like the Kid._

"I don't feel guilty."

"But you think that you can't do anything to help her. That's why you spent so much time in her room. Because that's all you can do." She said with a comforting voice. Their eyes locked for a moment and Cameron could see that she was right. House did not admit it. Not with words. But she knew that when he said nothing at all, she was right. It was a silent confirmation.


	6. Sleepless

A/N So, this is another conversation between House and Grace. I tried to be a little funny here... Whatever. NJOY

Sleepless

It was late in the evening when Grace decided to have a walk through the hospital. She could not fall asleep because she spent nearly the whole day sleeping and was still bored to death. Her headache was gone for a while and she felt better so she hoped to get something to read from somewhere. She just did not know where to look. That was why she ended up walking up and down the hallways all by herself.

"Shouldn't you be somewhere else right now, Kid ?" a rough voice shook her out of her thoughts. She looked up and saw House standing a couple of steps away from her.

_She can't sleep. Who wonders ? I couldn't sleep here either._

"Meaning that disgusting and depressing room that has 'You're dying' written on its discouraging white walls ?" she answered sarcastically.

_That's exactly why I couldn't sleep here._

"I guess so."

"I can't sleep and I'm bored. I've got nothing to do. For me, being here is nothing more than a waste of my very precious time." She said.

_I wonder if you know that you've got only three or four months left to live. We could maybe help and you can't think of anything else than leave as soon as possible ? You're right, we can't help you. Maybe Cameron's right and that's why I want to spend time with you because I can't do anything to cure you. You really make me feel useless, Kid._

"What about you ? Why are you still here ? It's pretty late." She wanted to know.

_Hmmm. Good question._

"Can't sleep either."

_Nobody's home waiting for me. It doesn't matter where I am. Where is the difference between being here and being at home ? There is none, except maybe that one's never alone here. Not really. _

As she looked into his eyes, she could see hundreds of thoughts running through his mind. He sympathized with her. It was a feeling he did not really know but he really started to care about Grace Dawson. She was the kind of patient he liked to work with. She was not some emotional wreck who was lost in self-pity all day long. She was one of the people that he would have liked to save but still, she would die and he could not change it. It was ironic that he had so many lives that he had not cared about, and now, he really started to open up to somebody and that somebody was the one he could not help. He felt the emotion coming up and he desperately tried to hide it. Any other person would have gone for it. But somehow Grace seemed to know exactly what was going on with him. He needed to tell her the truth although it was not easy. In fact, it was way harder than he had ever thought.

_That's exactly the reason why I don't like to get in touch with the patients. Too many of them die and that makes me feel helpless somehow. Gee ! I start getting' sentimental ! I don't like to tell her this but I have to. Dammit, she's cool. Why can't I help her ?_

"It's less than a year." He said in a soft tone. Grace gave him a questioning look.

"You've got less that a year to live." He explained.

"How much less ?" she asked with a now trembling voice.

"If the tumour keeps growing like this… I'd say three months, maybe four." She had to swallow and take a deep breath to calm herself down. A rush of emotions were now running through her head.

_Should I really have said that ? I didn't mean to upset her. Rewind… What did I just think ?_

"That means I'll have to hurry up with planning my funeral. Found any good song yet ?" She tried to be funny. But she actually felt horrible by hearing the bad news. She had not expected it. One year sounded like it was a long time. But four months - that was too damn short.

_See, that's what I like about her. No tears, no screaming, no self-pitying. Good girl. Oh no, don't do this again. Sad look is coming. I have to leave._

"Whatever. I have work to do." He mentioned and was about to leave her alone. He could not stand her company. She was ripping his covers apart and he could not do anything to avoid it, except leaving her.

"Scared ?" she suddenly asked. House turned around and looked at her kind of confused.

_Are you kidding me ? I'm not scared. Not of you. What the bloody hell is there to be scared of ?Maybe there's something… I knew I shouldn't befriend with patients._

"Of what ? You ? Definitely not. You're not the first person I'm bringing bad news to."

_Haha. There you go. I'm stronger than you think._

"No. Yourself. You just started to like me and it somehow touches you that I will die so soon." She told him. Now he could not resist any longer. There was definitely something wrong with this kid and would find out why she made him feel so uncomfortable. But he would surely not show her his interest.

_She might be right about that. How does she know what I feel before I even realized it myself ? I have to find out. For cryin' out loud, I'm too damn curious. I shouldn't be._

"Very self-confident, huh ? First of all, I don't like you at all. Secondly, this is a hospital, people die here every day. You're nothing special. I just happen to have a good day. But I'm interested.

"I know."

_I definitely should get drunk with her. Could be fun._

"So, would you like to get drunk, Kid ?" he offered to her surprise.

"I'd love to. And a walk outside would be cool…. Well, we can also just sit somewhere…" she corrected herself, when she remembered his damaged leg. "I like autumn nights. And I really could use some fresh air." She said and followed him to his office.

"You're lucky that I don't give a shit about your health, otherwise I definitely wouldn't agree to this." He muttered.

"It was your idea. By the way, where's the rest of my personal stuff ? I'm missing some things…"she asked as they were walking slowly to his office.

_Personal things. Ha ! Drug addict._

"Meaning the drugs you had with you that night ?" he came out with it right away.

"Oh gee… Drugs. That sounds so bad and illegal although to me it's nothing more than a stronger kind of aspirin." She returned grinning.

"You compare 10 grams of marihuana to aspirin ? Aspirin could never get you to jail, sweetie." He stated sarcastically.

"Do you really believe the cops would imprison me after I told them that I have only a few months left to live ? It happened several times that I got caught but they let me go after they figured that I was telling them the truth. It's true, even the cops have hearts. And anyway, d'you really think the crap you give me to take away the pain is better ?"

_No, I don't._

"As your doctor I must tell you that smoking can cause an early and painful death." Grace took a look at his face and started to laugh out loudly.

_I can be so funny._

"That's the advantage of it all. You can do drugs and alcohol and whatever you want without being afraid of the consequences. You don't care about lung cancer because you've already got cancer in your brain that will play the early-death part. And anyways, I think you should be the last one to teach me 'say no to drugs'." She said.

_How does she know about the Vicodin ? _

"I get the Vicodin legally on a recipe." He defended himself.

_This'll do._

"Oh no, you're not fooling me. I don't think that it's legal to eat more than a dozen of these pills every day. You are an addict." She argued. "You should try the marihuana-thing. It's a natural stuff without all the chemistry in the Vicodin. No side effects at all. Pain's gone, you're completely high but it just feels good. Believe me, it makes the lousy days bearable."

_I might be able to fool myself but not her. Huh, scary. Still like her._

"I can't give you drugs. But I could offer some whisky. Done ?"

"Done." She answered as he took a bottle of whiskey out of his office.

TBC...


	7. Weakness

A/N: The conversation goes on... We learn something about Cam's feelings here... And an argument... Whatever, just read & NJOY !

Weakness

"Now tell me, Kid. What is going on here ? Why do you know so much about me and how can you look into my brain ?" he finally wanted to know while he was handing her the bottle of whisky. They were sitting on a bench outside the hospital. It was a clear, cold and starry night. Grace enjoyed being outside and breathed in the fresh air.

"Empathy." She started.

"Empathy ?" House looked at her in confusion and disbelief.

"Yeah, empathy. That's when someone is very sensitive when it comes to human feelings."

"Heard the word before… Like these damn psychologists ?"

_Hate psychologists. They think they'd know but they have no idea…_

"Exactly. I take it you have seen the MRI of my brain ?" House nodded. "Well, then you should know that the tumour is in the midst of my limbic system, you know where emotions and stuff like that are created. This leads to ten times more brain activity in this area than normal. According to that, my realization of things, especially feelings of others and my own, is way more detailed and clear. Feelings are like a code that one can not easily read. I can read the code. Just like Neo in 'The Matrix' when he figured out that he's the One." She tried to explain.

"'The Matrix', huh ?" House muttered.

_Film was OK. At least entertaining for a while._

"Consequently, I could analyze you right away without being one of these damn psychologists. I can read the numbers on your face. I realize the slightest move and each move tells me more about you, as well as the sound of your voice. And now I'm not gonna ask if you're understanding me because I know you are." Grace told him with a slight grin on her face, sipping on her glass.

_A kind of supernatural power caused by a brain tumour. Never heard of that. But that might explain why she knows so much. Even though I never really admitted that she was right with me… sometimes. Actually most of the time. Mental note: Try not to feel anything right now or she's going to analyze your psyche and feelings the whole night._

"You're more interesting than I first thought." He murmured.

"Oh no, it's not me you find interesting. It's the thing in my head. Usually people think I'm crazy because they assume that I'm talkin' about supernatural stuff. But you know better. You know I'm not crazy. You know the empathy comes from my disease." She corrected him. "By the way, when did you say I can leave this place ? It somehow drives me mad and my headache is even getting worse because of these blank walls around me and the smell and… knowing that the year I thought I'd still have just turned out to be only four months… whatever. When ?" Grace wanted to know. House remained silent for a short while. She seemed to be cold. As cold as he always tried to be. But in fact she was not. She was afraid. She was just pushing her fears aside.

_Now you remind me of myself. Hating the world is fun, ain't it ?_

"Are you sure you want to leave ?" he asked once more. She just nodded.

"Tomorrow." He said quietly.

"Now that's good news…" She smiled, drank out the whisky and was about to get up.

"What does Cameron feel ? I mean… in general. I mean, you certainly have analyzed her, too." He suddenly came up with the question.

"Are you kidding me ? Why would I tell you ? It's personal."

"C'mon !" he almost begged her.

"Why would you wanna know ?" Grace asked with a broad grin on her face.

"It's none of my business. Therefore, I need to know." He grinned back at her.

"You are only interested in how she feels about you." Grace stated.

_Right._

"No."

"Of course…" she murmured giggling, sarcasm dripping off her voice.

"So… Cameron. What ?'s going on in her beautiful, stubborn head ?"

"What's in it for me ?"

_Ah, right. I should've known…_

"Make a suggestion. Anything goes."

"Take me off the painkillers. They don't help, they just make me feel stupid."

"And how are you planning to get through another day ?" Grace started to grin.

"Remember the guy who came by yesterday, Colin ? He brought me a little something…" she returned and showed him a silver-coloured box with a dozen of joints in it. "You basically don't have to do anything but keep your mouth shut."

"You're nuts. You can't take drugs in a clinic."

"But you can give me the bloody morphine, which makes me feel brainless and horrible and I'm hallucinating and singing all day long, so you can sit down and laugh about me ?" she said with an angry voice.

"What if Cuddy finds out ? She'll kick my ass if…"

"As if you'd give a fuck…" she cut him off.

_True. Making up stories and excuses doesn't really work with her. Shoulda known. So what. It's not that I give her a free ride to take heroin._

"There's something else…" she muttered.

"More drugs ?" Grace smiled and shook her head.

"No, don't worry. It's just… would you attend my funeral ? See, I don't have many friends. There would be Colin… and my sister and… that would be it. I'd feel better if I knew that there'd be more than just two people to say goodbye to me. And you'll get dinner for free. I promise I'll make sure that it'll be the best funeral party ever !" House looked at her in shock and swallowed. Nobody had ever asked him such a question. And he usually tried to stay away from funerals. But she was begging him with her eyes and although he wanted to say 'no' so badly, he just couldn't.

"Forget it. It's OK. I shouldn't have said that." She said, shaking her head and covering her face with her hands. In that moment, she was weak. For the first time since he had met her, Grace Dawson showed her weak point, which was the fact that she did not have anybody who really cared about her.

"It's a deal." He finally answered after a few moments of silence. Grace looked at him thankfully and lightened on a joint. And as soon as he had said it, she took a breath of relief and her moment of weakness was over.

"She thinks you're brilliant and a genius." She started to tell him about Cameron's feelings about him.

"She's right with that. Tell me something I don't know yet."

"She likes you a lot. And surprisingly she likes you for who you are. She silently laughs about your jokes and sarcastic comments, enjoys your company and for what reason ever, she feels very attracted to you." Grace went on.

"So you think I'm not attractive ?" She had to laugh on his question.

"Please… There are a dozen of reasons why I could never have a crush on you."

"Name three." House instructed her, putting on a face that expressed faked disappointment.

"First of all, you're a bastard. Secondly, you could be my father and to be honest with you, you somehow remind me of him. And thirdly, you're a cripple. Have I told you that you're a bastard ?"

"That was your first reason. OK, I got it, I got it. But you do like me ?" he asked curiously.

"There are reasons why one could like you as well." She confessed.

"Name three of them, too."

"No."

"Oh, c'mon, you just brought me down. I need some chicken soup for my soul and my ego." He pleaded.

"You're a brilliant doctor. Cameron's definitely right with that. And, now pay attention, I think you're the coolest doc I've ever met in my life. And I've met many. I mean, none of them would have ever thought about getting drunk with me…"

_Yeah, I'm pretty cool, huh ?!_

"And thirdly… well… sorry, I can't think of a third reason right now. I'm too drunk and definitely too high." She giggled, taking another sip from the whisky.

"Still, I feel deeply flattered, Kid." He said and looked at her intensely until both of them burst into laughter.

"Why d'you always call me 'Kid' ? It sounds weird. I'm 21 and my life's already over. I'm not a kid anymore." She mentioned.

"You call me 'Doc Greggy' and complain about 'Kid' ? You can't be serious." Grace nodded.

"You're right. It's just fair." She said and started to laugh again.

"She… is into you. Meaning… she is in love with you." Grace abruptly returned back to the topic.

_I know._

"But why ? I keep telling her that I hate her. Could you be in love with someone who treats you like garbage ?"

"Ahm… no. But I'm not Cameron. Furthermore, she knows you're lying. She loves arguing with you because you're challenging her. And stop thinking you weren't good enough. 'Cos you are. Trust me on this." She returned and stretched herself yawning. "I'm tired. Can we continue this conversation tomorrow ?"

"Sure." He mumbled while Grace prepared herself to leave.

"Wait. I just wanted to say…" Grace turned around to House who was still sitting on the bench. He did not finish the phrase. Grace looked at him for a moment, then she threw the joint away and began to speak:

"I know you're sorry."

_Dammit, I actually wanted to say that. I can't say it._

"That's not what I wanted to say."

"Maybe not. But you feel sorry for me." She did it again. He hated it. And he would not let her in. She kept on provoking him. He would not fall for it. Not yet.

_Stop this, Kid ! Makes me angry. Sanity, where have you gone ? Need you right now. Or maybe just more Vicodin. Good idea. I have to end this._

"Stop the crap. Maybe Cameron falls for that shit but not me. Empathy. Whoever invented the word was an idiot. Stop analyzing me, OK ? I'm not some stupid lab rat. I am not sorry. Why the hell should I be sorry ? Is it my fault that you're sentenced to death ?" House suddenly turned to mean again. He could not stand the fact the Grace was able to look behind the wall he had built. He felt unprotected and it was bothering him.

"This is exactly why you'll end up dying alone." She said and turned to leave.

"What did you just say ?" he shouted at her. Grace turned to him again an could see that she had hit a nerve. His face expression was an ocean of hidden emotions.

Anger. Fear. Despair.

"I said you'll die alone. Because you are like you are."

_She's right – again. Sad, but true._

"You don't know me. You don't have the slightest idea of who I am ! And as far as I know you're going to die alone first – in four months to be precise. Only one person came to visit you. You want me – a stranger who doesn't give a fuck about you – to attend your funeral service because you're afraid that no one else will be there. Why does nobody give a shit about you if you're so much better than me, huh ? Seems we have a lot in common." he replied angrily.

_You're not better than me, you're not better than me, you're not better than me. You are just like me… No you aren't. In fact, you are a hell of a lot better than me. I'm such an asshole._

They stared at each other for a while and now he could clearly see that he had hurt her. He had just hit her weakest point, stabbed her heart and turned the knife around. Her look was the saddest look that he had ever seen in his life and Grace had to fight with her tears. She wanted to scream at him, beat him and she wanted to cry because this time, he had been right. But the tears would not come and she did neither beat him, nor yell at him. Instead, she started to speak calmly, but with bitterness in her voice:

"You act like an asshole just to push people that really care about you away. You're hiding behind these walls that you built up for yourself. Walls of selfishness, anger and fear. And there is no way that you let anyone in to help you. You try to protect yourself from being hurt again and you just don't realize that you're the one who hurts yourself the most. I despise people like you because you don't want to see how lucky you are. Dr. Cameron told me about your wounded leg. You could have died of this, couldn't you ? But look at you: You live. And you're going to die as an old man. Even older than you are right now. And you're wasting the precious time that you've got. It makes me so unbelievably sad and angry. I can't help it, but the flood of emotions around me makes me sometimes feel miserable." Grace swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I only have one more year, excuse me, four months." She said, slightly sobbing, desperately trying to sound strong.

"I'll never know how it feels to finish college. I'll never get married. I'll never have children. Damn, there are so many things that I won't have." She paused and lit on a cigarette.

"But I don't believe that it's a reason to give up on myself. I keep going. I seize every single day because it could be my last. And you're sitting there complaining about everything just because you have to walk with a cane and some bitch left you once or whatever. You're hurting other people because you can't deal with the pain someone has once caused you. You treat her like a piece of shit most of the time and she still cares about you so much. I know she has her own reasons. But these are reasons that even I cannot understand. Maybe I'm not supposed to say such things to you because technically, I don't know you, you're my doctor and we don't have any personal relationship and I shouldn't always interfere in things that are none of my business. But emotionally I happen to care too much about everybody." She finished and finally left him alone with his thoughts.

_Now that was a punch in the face. I'm shocked that it actually hurt me. Am I really such a bastard ? I guess I am. I enjoy being me. But I'm the only person in the world who actually likes me as me. Except Cameron maybe. She tolerates me. Why does she ?_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Empathy ?"

"Caused by the tumour that influences her limbic system, yeah."

"Means she can actually see people's feelings because of the tumour in her brain ? That's strange… but possible… and pretty interesting." Wilson murmured. House had called him in the middle of the night because he needed someone to tell him that she had been wrong.

"Yeah. Interesting. You shoulda heard what she said to me." He returned gruffly.

"I bet you gave her a reason to say what she's said." Wilson mentioned and took the beer House was offering him.

"No." House grunted.

"Oh, come on ! I know you…"

"She was driving me crazy with her analyzations and she made me feel uncomfortable. What would you do if someone read your mind ?"

"She can't read your mind. From what you told me, she's only studying the way you behave." Wilson corrected him.

"She's not allowed to do so. It's private… I mean, who the hell is she to look into my brain ?"

"House !" Wilson cut him off.

"You win the jackpot." He eventually admitted and sat down on his sofa next to his friend.

"What did you say ?" Wilson wanted to know, presuming that it must have been something extremely inappropriate and rude.

"That she'll be the one to die alone first and that nobody cares about her and that she's not better than myself and..."

"No you didn't." he cut him off.

"I'm afraid I did. And apparently I have hit a nerve. 'Cos there _is_ actually no one. She really is going to die all alone although she doesn't deserve it." House said. He already regretted what he had told her.

"You're an asshole."

"I know… I know."

TBC


	8. Only The Truth, Part I

A/N: Hope you like this one. I promise I'll hurry up and write more H/C moments in the following chappis. NJOY.

Only The Truth, Part I

It was early in the morning when Grace prepared herself to leave the PPTH. She was still deeply hurt by what House had said the night before, even .though she tried not to be. It was kind of a life philosophy: She believed that one should not waste so much time on negative feelings like anger or sadness. Still, he had hit her. He had reminded her of the fact that she was lonely.

"You leaving ?" she heard Cameron's voice coming from the door.

"Dr. Cameron. Morning. Yup, I'm leaving. It's about time." She answered shortly.

"Did he tell you ?" Cameron asked carefully. Grace put her bag down and took a seat.

"It's not a year. It's only four months, maybe even less."

"I'm sorry." Cameron said, placing her hand on Grace's shoulder.

"Don't be. It doesn't help." She returned, pushing Cameron's hand away gruffly.

"What's wrong with you ? You've changed…" Cameron remarked, seeing the bitterness in Grace's eyes.

"I haven't changed. Someone just reminded me that it doesn't really matter to anyone when I die." She said resentfully.

"That's not right, Grace. You…" she tried, but Grace shook her head energetically.

"Yes it is. There _is_ nobody. And do you really believe that I can make a dozen of friends in such a short time ? As soon as they'd find out that I'll die, they'll turn away from me. Not because they wouldn't like me, but because they'd want to protect themselves from grief and sorrow. He is right, Doc." She clarified.

"House ?" Cameron enquired. Grace responded with a nod. "What did he tell you ?"

"He just told me the truth. Only the truth." She replied and tried to put on a smile.

"No. I mean, no. Whatever he said to you, don't take it for serious. He's a bastard, an idiot and he has no right to…" Cameron felt anger coming up. She knew that he always used to upset people and to confront them with things they do not want to hear because he did not like them or because he had a problem with their attitude. But why did he have to hurt Grace so badly ? She knew that he liked her but still he had to push her away. She did not want him to be like this. The way he had treated Grace had made her hope that he was still able to open up to other people. But apparently she had been wrong.

"He is not a bad person." Grace interrupted her. "I don't want you to think that he is. Nothing he's said to me has anything to do with you, OK ? He cares about you a lot and I'd even say he loves you but he can't say it because he has to be Mr. Cool himself. Whatever, you know him."

"Where are your parents ? Don't they care about their daughter ?" Cameron enquired. Grace looked down for a second.

"My father died eight years ago and surprise: It was cancer. Leukaemia. Mom's been in a psychiatry since then because she can't deal with the loss. Lives in another reality somehow. She doesn't even recognize me and my sister. Maybe it's better this way… I mean, would it really help her if she knew that her youngest daughter will die of cancer just like her father did ? I don't think so. My older sister and I lived alone since then. She is there for me, I can call her anytime. But I know my presence hurts her. That's why she's moved to Florida. To be as far away from me - from death - as possible. Yay ! See, we're a clichéd American family." Grace tried to joke. But Cameron did not think that her situation was funny at all.

Grace was broken. She was not the self-confident and positive girl she had used to be when she had arrived at PPTH. Still, she did not whimper, she did not cry, she did not complain. But the smile and the spirit that had even made House at least seem content, had gone. Her face expression was emotionless, cold and she looked kind of tired.

"You never cry." Cameron mentioned. "You always try to be strong. And although you're seeing the feelings of others, you don't show your own. You hide, just like he does. With only one difference: I think you have all the right reasons to cry. But you don't. Why ?" she asked curiously. Cameron's intense look made her think about the question for a couple of moments. Memories crossed her mind. Dialogues that had changed her life so drastically.

"When I was told that I was sick three years ago, I was shocked." She started.

-------

"_We found a tumour in your head, Miss Dawson."_

"_Oh God… Can you… you know… cut it out… ?"_

-------

"That was when I started to be afraid. But as long as they said that there's still hope for me, I was OK…" Cameron noticed that it was hard for Grace to think of these moments of her life. She had to swallow several times and she hardly managed to keep her voice from breaking.

-------

"No. But we have plenty of therapies to keep it from growing. You could grow old with a tumour in your head. Don't worry yet, Miss Dawson.."

-------

"I always thought that I'd survive, therefore, I'd never really considered the possibility that I might die of this. But then, eleven months later, I was told that that nothing in the world could save me. All the therapies and medication failed. Nothing had worked."

-------

"_I'm sorry, Miss Dawson, but unfortunately I have to tell you, that our therapies failed. The tumour did not stop growing. And we can't do anything against it."_

"_How long ?"_

"_Maybe four years, but to be honest, that would be a very optimistic assumption."_

_-------_

"That was the moment when I realized that I would definitely die. And then I started to cry. I did not only cry, I screamed and shouted and yelled. I couldn't sleep, but neither was I able to get out of my bed. I'd cried for a whole week. And then, one day, I had ran out of tears. I just decided to live. I realized that I still had a life and that it had become too short to spend it lying in my bed being depressed. That was when I stopped crying. I'm not strong, Dr. Cameron, I only accepted my fate." She explained, then she took her bag, and left Cameron to her thoughts.

She was still amazed and also terribly sad after she had listened to Grace's story. She only had been a teenager when they had told her about her brain tumour. A girl with no one to comfort her. Cameron stared into nothing, not realizing that tears were running down her face slowly. Not realizing that he was watching her from outside.


	9. Only The Truth, Part II

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. But here are finally more H/C moments ! I used parts of the song "Stupid Boy" by Keith Urban because I think it fits the story. NJOY !

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show. The song "Stupid Boy" belongs to Keith Urban.

Only The Truth, Part II

As he watched her crying silently in Grace's room, he studied each line on her beautiful face that was covered with tears. He could not remember having ever seen something so beautiful and yet so sad. The kid's unavoidable fate had touched her so deeply that she was now baring her soul to him and she did not even know.

_Well she was precious like a flower_

_She grew wild_

_Wild but innocent_

_Perfect prayer in a desperate hour_

_She was everything_

_Beautiful and different_

He somehow knew that she thought not only of Grace but also of her husband with whom she had been through a similar situation. Now he was in that situation himself. He liked Grace a lot, considered her a friend – even though it was a very special and definitely weird and uncommon friendship and it had taken quite some time to admit this to himself. When he had realized that she was not only a patient to him anymore, he had pushed her away instantly. Only because she was his friend. And his friend would be dead in only a couple of months.And that was the moment when he understood what he had done to Allison Cameron.

_She let her heart and soul right in your hands _

_And you stole her every dream_

_And you crushed her plans_

_She never even knew she had a choice_

_And that's what happens _

_When the only voice she hears_

_Is telling her she can't_

_Stupid boy_

_Stupid boy_

Remembering what Grace had told him about her, he suddenly was wondering how she could still have such feelings towards him. Cameron really loved him. Not because he was damaged on the outside, but because she knew that he was broken on the inside. She knew that he needed someone like her so badly and she needed him. It had taken a kid with a brain tumour to face the truth that he had tried to deny for such a long time.

_So what made you think you could take a life_

_And just push it, push it around_

_I guess you built yourself up so high_

_You had to take her and break her down_

_Oh, you always had to be right_

_And now you've lost the only thing_

_That ever made you feel alive_

He watched her every movement. The way she covered her eyes with her hands, how she wiped away the tears just to let new teardrops run down her face, held him spellbound. And for some reason, it felt natural to slowly enter the room and walk over to her. She immediately wiped the tears from her face again and got up from the chair she had been sitting in. For a few moments none of them said a word. They were just staring at each other, trying to figure out what the other thought.

"You OK ?" he finally broke the silence. He could not think of any other question because in this very moment, it was really the only thing he was interested in. He wanted to know how she felt.

Cameron was a little surprised by the softness in his voice. At first, she wanted to say 'yes' and that she was fine. Instead, she slightly shook her head.

"No… It's just not fair." she whispered and only seconds later, she felt tears coming up again.

"I know." He replied calmly. He knew that she was talking about Grace and her beloved husband and anyone else who did not deserve to die so early. Right now, a whole world seemed to break down on Cameron and normally, he would have made a sarcastic comment about it or that it's really sick to care about damaged or dying people. But not this time. Because this time, he sympathised with her. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he moved closer to her until their bodies were only inches apart, so he could almost taste her sadness that was filling the whole room right now. His brain told him to stop but the next moment, he put his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace. And to his surprise, Cameron did not pull away, opposite, she buried her face in his t-shirt, wrapping her arms around him desperately, giving in to the tears that she had tried to hold back only a few seconds before. He gently held her head against his chest, stroking slowly across her auburn hair, while his right hand was caressing her back softly. After a couple of minutes of standing there like this, it was suddenly him, who hid his face in her hair, eyes closed, only enjoying the comfort they were giving to each other, savouring the smell of her skin and her slow breath on his chest. He was mourning Grace, too. But it was still only Cameron crying. He would not cry. But in a way, Cameron's tears were his, too. So he was crying. Silently.

It seemed as if hours had passed when Cameron finally pulled away from him slowly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

_You've done nothing wrong._

"It's OK." He replied softly and tried to put on a slight smile.

"Whatever you've told her… It hit her hard I think…" she murmured.

_I know._

"So I'm the big bad here and she's a saint ?" he asked gruffly. Cameron instantaneously translated the comment into its real meaning: 'Are you mad at me, too ? Am I really such a bastard ?'

_You look confused and your legs are shaky and you really liked being so close to me. In fact, you liked that I allowed you to be so close to me._

"No. It's something between you and her. But I believe you should talk. And I… should leave right now." She answered a little confused.

_And what am I going to say to her ? Why do I have to be the one to apologize ? She wasn't very nice to me either… Maybe because she was right with me and I was just trying to hurt her._

House was kind of irritated when Cameron nearly ran out of the door, as if she could not get away from him fast enough. While he was reflecting on the very intimate moment that had just taken place, he noticed that the sweet scent of her perfume was still lingering around him. He took a deep breath to inhale the traces that she had left in the room, feeling a sudden pain in his guts and a sickness that made him feel wobbly. Irritated by this unexpected dizziness, he produced an amber bottle of vicodin out of his pocked to pop a couple of pills straight away. But he already guessed that they would not free him from this kind of pain.

_Oh, dammit… _

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Sitting on the chair in his office, he was holding Grace's mp3-player in his hands. She had forgotten to get it back and he had forgotten to give it back to her. Fortunately, this was the perfect excuse for him to contact her. He picked up the phone and dialled the number he had looked up in her file. A few seconds passed until he heard her voice crackling on the other end.

_This is absolutely senseless. She'll hang up straight away._

"Hello ?"

"Hi. Grace Dawson ?"

"Yep. Who's talkin' ?"

"Dr. House."

_Don't hang up !_

"Oh, for God's sake ! What do you want ? You wanna keep torturing me by telling me how lonely I am ?" she asked annoyed.

_No. I want to apologize._

"Nope. I just thought you might want your mp3-player back…" he returned.

"Yeah, right. You've got my number, I take it you also know where I live. Just throw it into the mailbox."

_I need to talk to you, not your godforsaken mailbox._

"I'm at work. I can't come over for coffee but thanks for asking." He said sarcastically. He heard her taking a deep breath at the other end.

"OK, where can I pick it up ?"

"The diagnostics office."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." She said and hung up.

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He walked into the diagnostics office, where the whole team was sitting and waiting for him to appear. He felt kind of anxious because he had never been in a similar situation. He wanted to apologize and he meant it. House nervously played around with his yo-yo, trying to think of anything else but the probably not so joyful conversation with Grace.

"Morning." He murmured and walked up and down the room. They were staring at him curiously, wondering what was on his mind today. In his left hand he held an mp3-player, which he was twirling around his fingers.

"Is this a new one ?" Foreman asked and pointed at the player, shaking him out of his thinking.

"Not exactly." He returned. Silence filled the room and it somehow made all of them feel kind of uncomfortable. His eyes were attached to the ground until he realized that the ducklings were staring at the open door. He slowly turned his look to the door and saw Grace standing there. She was all dressed in black, her long black hair falling beautifully onto her shoulders, stroking her sallow face. She looked good.

_She must have a good day. Or she's completely high._

"Kid. Come in. I suppose you remember my team ?" he greeted her and motioned for her to enter the room.

"Sure. Hi. So, where is it ?" she got straight to the point.

"Things are going great. Thanks for asking. Coffee ? Tea ? Hugs and kisses ?" He incited her.

"No, thank you."

"Why are you always dressed in black ? Has anyone died recently ?" House regretted the comment as soon as it had left his mouth.

_Outch ! Shoulda left this one out._

"I like the colour." She replied with a cold voice.

"Oh yeah. It's totally you."

"Can we leave the small talk part out ? Don't make me give you stupid nicknames in front of your colleagues. My player, please !" she replied harshly and as soon as she had ended the phrase, he threw it at her and she caught it with both of her hands.

"Thanks. Was nice to see most of you again. Goodbye." She said and gave House a dark look before she left the room.

_I can't go after her. What will Tick, Trick and Truck think ? Ah, never mind, might be the only chance. And Cameron… Cameron will love me for this… _

"Hm. Would you excuse me for a minute ?" he looked at the team for a second and then limped out the door as fast as he could.

"Grace ! Miss Dawson ! Kid ! I'm a cripple, remember ?" he shouted into her direction down the hallway. Grace stopped and turned around to see House walking over to her.

"What ? I thought you decided to be a bastard." She grunted. House looked at her intensely and could still see the wounds he had caused her. Her eyes were empty as she had given up on herself.

"Ahm… yeah. I mean… no… I'm sorry for… you know, saying these things about…"

"My death ?" she completed the sentence.

"Right. I needed some time to figure… that you might be right. About me, you know. I felt… kinda exposed when you were reading… my mind."

"I'm not reading anyone's mind. I'm just watching and observing people's behaviour and gestures. I can't read minds. That's technically impossible. I was just telling you what I saw. I shoulda known you couldn't cope with it."

"Does that mean you're accepting my apology ?" he inquired.

"I think it's a waste of time to be angry at someone just because of some stupid comment. I don't have the time to be angry." She answered.

"Does that mean you're accepting my apology ?!" he asked once more.

"Accepted." She confirmed nodding.

"Good… Kid...?" He mumbled.

"Hm ?"

"I guess I've really hurt Cameron. Just like I hurt you." He started.

"Think my little speech was as well a punch in the face for you, wasn't it ?"

"Yeah. But you were right. I constantly try to hurt people that are close to me and I'm well aware of it. I want to hurt them before they can hurt me." He said, his eyes attached to the ground.

"Hah ! Look at you ! You really made up your mind, huh ?"

"It was about time, I guess." He returned murmuring.

"Tell her the truth. How you really feel about her and everything that is heavy on your heart. Say that you're sorry… and mean it. She will forgive you." She answered warmly.

"Do you believe this is a good idea ? Doesn't she deserve someone… better than me ?" he wanted to know. This was a question tat had been on his mind for a long time.

"You think you're not good enough… You're making me angry, Doc. How sick are you that you believe people like us don't deserve affection from people like her ? You still haven't understood it, have you ?" she returned, giving him an angry look.

"Ah… huh ?" he responded a little irritated.

"When Cameron looks at you, what do you think that she sees ? An old man ? A cripple ? A bastard ? No. She sees a genius, a brilliant doctor who tries anything to save lives. She sees someone who is in need of love and friendship. She sees a handsome guy with an irresistible smile and a friend. Look, I know this sounds soppy but… We don't decide who we love by how someone is looking, love decides who we find beautiful. To Cameron, you are perfect the way your are. You are good enough." Grace clarified while looking at him powerfully. House remained silent for a while.

"You think I'm handsome ?" he grinned.

"Cameron thinks you're handsome. I thought we'd talked this over already… You're not my type." She smiled back.

"Right… So, where're you going ? Any plans ?" he changed the subject.

"Europe. I'm leaving for Paris tomorrow. Then Berlin, Rome, Greece. I wanna see the world before… you know. There's not much time left…" She returned smiling.

"That's good. Send me a card."

"I can do that. Maybe you'll even get a whole letter." She joked.

House reached out his right hand and offered it to her. She took his hand and before he could react, she had pulled him into a deep hug and placed a soft kiss on his rough cheek.

"I've always known you fall for me, Kid." He said with a naughty grin on his face.

"Of course you have, daddy." She responded and let go of him. Then, Grace Dawson left again and she did not look back when she walked out of his life.

_Telling her the truth… Truth… what a big and meaningful word… Crap ! I'm going to make an idiot out of myself. I know it._

House knew that his ducklings had observed the scene and that he would have to explain a lot. But he wouldn't. Maybe he would tell Cameron. There were lots of things he needed to tell her…

"Chase, Foreman, I bet you've got somethin' better to do than sitting around here or spying on my personal conversation with a patient. Get me a new case. Or… have lunch break, or do whatever you like to do… somewhere else." He grunted.

"She's too young for you, House…" Foreman started with a big grin on his face.

"She's a friend."

"You never befriend with patients. You even refuse to talk to them." Chase argued, looking amused.

"I befriended with _her_. Leave. Right away." House shouted and they finally made it out of the office. When they were down the hallway, he sat down in his chair and remained silent for a while until Cameron walked over to him.

"What is it ?" she asked with a little voice.

"Need to talk to you." House muttered nervously.

"I guess I figured that when you sent Chase and Foreman away."

"It's kinda hard to say something. You know, I know what I want to say because I was thinking about it the whole week and I really think a lot. But thinking and speaking is something completely different. You feel me ?" he muttered. Cameron just nodded.

_She let her heart and soul right in your hands_

_And you stole her every dream_

_And you crushed her plans, oh yes he did_

_She never even knew she had a choice_

_And that's what happens when the only voice she hears_

_Is telling her she cares_

"It must be something that doesn't go easily from your lips. That makes me even more keen on knowing." She smiled slightly at him. Their eyes locked for a moment and suddenly it seemed to be easy to say sorry to her. His lips naturally formed the words as they left his mouth.

_She loved me_

_She loved me_

_God, please let her know I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby_

_I'm down on my knees…_

"I'm sorry." He whispered. The look in Cameron's eyes when he said it was a mixture of

"What for ?"

"Everything."

"Could you specify 'everything' ?" she asked.

"Everything that I've ever done to you in the past couple of years. That I treat you like garbage and for everything I said on that date and I didn't mean it. It's just…" he tried but could not really express what he felt right now. He felt sick. And he was sure that he'd throw up and fall onto the ground the very next second. But he did not either of it. He just remained silent, staring at Cameron. Her gorgeous face that he knew so well, the way she pushed her hair back from her face and her questioning look when her eyes locked with his.

_How could I have caused you so much pain…?_

"House ?" her gentle voice shook him out of his thoughts. He took one more deep breath, shaking his head, covering his face with both of his hands, then he fixed his eyes on hers again.

"I lied."

"What do you mean ?"

"I don't hate you. Meaning I do not not like you… Accordingly, I do like you… a lot." Cameron had to smile. He sounded like a 16-year-old school boy.

_There you go: Idiot talking._

"And I respect you. Because you're a good doctor. And because you're the only person on earth who likes me for being me. Well… you and the Kid. At least you tolerate me and my grumpy bastard-self." He finished, waiting for her to say something.

"Maybe I accept the fact that you have your reasons for acting that way." She finally spoke to him.

"I can't be Mr. Nice Guy... I can't be romantic and I'm not bringing you flowers. And nothing is always rainbows and stupid butterflies…" he said nervously.

_I do love you. 'Cos you're the one that keeps me from freaking out completely._

"I was already shocked when you said that you do not _not_ like me." She answered warmly.

"I need you… I need you for many reasons. One might be that I'm sometimes falling into a dark hole, meaning my meaningless depression and self-pity. And I believe that you're probably the only one who can keep me from falling. Oh crap…" Cameron gazed at him for a short while, well knowing that, although he did not say it clearly, this was his way to say that he loved her. She had not expected anything like this to happen.

_Who put these words into my mouth ? She must be thinking I'm kidding her._

"I can't..." She whispered.

_You're right. I'm too late. I was too selfish. I should not be here right now I should leave. Now. Leave you alone. I need you but you don't need me. Not anymore._

House lowered his head and closed his eyes to hide from her gaze. Right then, he just could not take the look of her eyes. It was too painful and in the next moment, he felt a thousand needles torturing him in his heart region.

"I can't promise." She completed her sentence. "I can only try." House met her eyes again as gazed at her doubtfully.

_Try. Try is better than not to try. Try is good. To try means she still cares about me._

"You really put me through lots of things. I mean… you hurt me. And you pushed me away so many times. And although you gave me every reason to hate you, I couldn't. I tried to move on but I failed because everytime I took one step forward, away from you, you moved closer to me. I don't know why… but I've never stopped to care about you." Cameron clarified her feelings with a slightly trembling voice.

"Are you serious ?" he asked. Cameron just nodded.

"That has never been the question. You know that. What about you ? What do you want ?" she returned. As soon as she had posed the question, she was afraid that he would turn around and leave her again, that he would change his mind.

"A second date. A second chance… because I know I spoiled… it all on the first one. Ahm… no, I was an asshole to be exact."

"True." She confirmed.

_This is all your fault Kid. I'm a over-romantic wreck. But at least I'm honest, right !?_

"And… you. I want you to be with me because I need you around."

"What did she tell you ?" Cameron suddenly asked.

"Who ?"

"Grace."

"The truth." he returned with a meaningful smile.

"I agree to a second date." She finally said. To her surprise, he slowly moved closer to her so she could feel his breath on her face. A cold rush was running down her spine when she felt his right hand caress her cheek. She was not used to see House so affectionate and gentle. She lent into his hand and covered it with her own. As he looked at her again smiling, she had to think of Grace. He had somehow opened up to the girl. He probably had not admitted it to her but she had had an impact on him.

TBC...


	10. Snow On A December Morning

A/N: Sorry it took me once more so long to update. Hope you like the result.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here... Too bad.

Snow On A December Morning

It was a cold December morning when he opened his eyes to find himself lying next to her for the first time. Her body was wrapped into a couple of blankets, very close to his, her left arm resting on his chest. She looked truly beautiful when she was sleeping peacefully.

Their second date had been a complete success. He had taken her to the movies and afterwards to a nice little café. They had talked everything over and decided to take it very slow.

He had kissed her on the third date. After a few moments of silence while standing in front of her apartment door, he had lent forward to her, using his free hand to cup the back of her head and closed his eyes when their lips had made contact. It had been a very soft kiss at first, then it had turned into a passionate and fiery kiss, and although both of them had longed for one another so badly, he had gently pulled away and said goodnight with a broad smile on his face.

After the fourth date, he had asked her to stay over night. He had invited her for a cup of coffee at his place after dinner. Although she had known how this would end up, she had said 'yes'.

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While House was preparing the coffee in the kitchen, Cameron waited for him in the living room.

_He must have known I'm saying 'yes'. He's cleaned up the mess. Looks really comfortable. I feel comfortable._

Her look wandered from his piano to half a dozen of pictures of him and his family. A couple of months ago she never would have imagined to get an insight of his personal space. He barely allowed anyone to be so close to him.

Right in that moment, House returned with two cups of coffee and placed them carefully on the table before he sat down next to her. They exchanged some glances before she motioned for the cup and took a sip from it.

"It has been a very nice evening." He finally muttered. Cameron replaced the cup on to the table and nodded.

"It has. Although I believe that it's been a little cold for a ride on your motorcycle by now." She smiled.

"Hah. You liked it. I know you did. Because you like to wrap your arms around me and cuddle with me while riding my extremely hot bike." He put on a serious face expression before they both started to laugh out loudly.

"I definitely did like that part. But I'd really _love_ to hook up with you on this sofa." She said grinning.

"You should be careful about your wishes… they might come true." He replied while leaning over to her. She felt a cold rush running down her spine when his lips touched hers.

"You don't have to go. You… could stay."He suggested with a soft voice as the kiss ended.

And she agreed by taking his hand and following him into his bedroom

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He removed her arm from his chest carefully in order not to wake her up. As he looked outside the window, he noticed that it was snowing and it somehow made him smile. He did not know why, but on that morning, everything seemed to be as clear as the snow that was covering the streets. It was a kind of perfection that had not seen or felt in years. Once again, he felt a strange ache in his stomach but this time, he did not try to anaesthesize it with vicodin. He just let it pass by. And he enjoyed it.

Cameron slowly opened her eyes to see House staring out of the window. He seemed to be lost in thoughts and she could not say if those were good or bad thoughts. Millions of things were running through her mind when she saw him standing there like this. Her feelings started to mix up, she felt regrets, happiness and confusion at the same time.

_Was this a mistake ? Have I done something wrong ? Is everything still OK ?_

"Greg ?" he heard her say his first name. He loved it when she said his name. It sounded like a beautiful song in his ears. She got up, covering her body with the blanket, and paced over to him.

"You OK ?" she asked carefully. But when he looked down at her smiling, she knew right away that nothing was wrong and it was all good.

"Never been better." He murmured and leaned down to kiss her gently on her forehead.

"It's snowing." She remarked whispering.

"For the first time this year." He added.

"Does that mean anything ?" she was wondering. House gave her a loving smile and wrapped his free arm around her small figure.

"I think it means that it's snowing… And that we'll be late today." he grinned while leaning foward to kiss her passionately.

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When they arrived at work, they exchanged one more kiss before they entered the hospital. They did not want everybody to talk about their relationship, therefore, they tried to be professional at work. It were only little gestures and moments between them, that let everyone know what was really going on.

As they were walking next to each other, House suddenly stopped.

"You OK ? Are you coming ?" Cameron asked him with a concerned look.

"Don't worry. Just go, I'll be right there." He returned and as the glass door closed behind Cameron, he could see her reflection in it.

She looked very sick, her skin colourless, almost as white as the snow, bloodless lips and tired eyes that were looking straight at him. Her hair was much shorter than before, but still from the deepest black, with snowflakes in it. She put on a slight smile, which he returned immediately.

"You're late today." Her familiar voice echoed in his mind over and over again. He had not seen her for a couple of months. And now, although her disease had marked her, it was refreshing to see her youthful face and at the same time, it was a relief to see that she was still alive. Even though she had written him a couple of postcards, he was well aware of the fact that in her current condition and especially without medication, every day could be her last.

"Like your hair." He mentioned while turning around slowly.

"And I like your girlfriend… You're happy." she replied vaguely smiling.

"How do you know I'm happy ? Do I look happy ?" he asked, putting on a stone cold face expression.

"You try to avoid smiling so badly. Your face muscles move very dimly to form pieces of a smile. And your eyes – they don't lie. The emptiness and the sadness are gone… And besides… I have noticed the way you look at her. So who are you trying to fool here, Doc ?" She told him. House paced over to her and gave her a warm hug. Although he usually was not good at warm welcomes, in that moment, it was the most normal thing to him.

"How are you, Kid ?" he asked after he had let go of her again.

"Ahm… Europe was great. It was very… European." She answered, avoiding his look.

"That's good, but it was not the question." He said, making her meet his eyes.

"Ahm… hmmm… I'm good."

"You look like crap." He stated. Grace knew that she could not hide her pain any longer. The cancer had taken away her strength and one could see it clearly now. Only the sparkle in her eyes told him, that there was something of Grace left somewhere deep within her.

"Ah… well… the headache's getting worse… and the blackouts… I'm having them almost everyday now. There are even whole days that I can't remember. You know, I pretend to know that they were bad days and that it's good I forgot about them… You know I'm pretty good at fooling myself… My… my right eye… it sometimes goes blind for a while… I… I don't know if I'll be here for Christmas, to be honest with you…" Grace took a deep breath. "I think I'm open to painkillers now." She finally admitted. House nodded.

"Come. I'll see what I can do." He said while wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Together, they entered the hospital.

"So… I got your postcards. Seems you had a lot of fun in Europe…" he changed the subject.

"I was told that I'd been on top of the Eiffel tower. Me, I can't remember, but Colin showed me pictures of myself being unconscious in that spinning restaurant."

They both started to laugh as they were walking over to Cameron, who was waiting further down the hallway.


	11. In Loving Memory

A/N: Long time no see. I wasn't sure if I should really write this and add it to the story. But on the other hand I've still got plenty of ideas and I felt like the story isn't complete yet. This chapter includes three parts. I hope you're not too confused about the change of perspective at the end of the first part. I just felt like to write in the "You"-perspective because it is easier to describe House's feelings that way. Hope you like it. I used parts of the song "In Loving Memory" by Alter Bridge because it'll be the song he chooses for her funeral. I know the lyrics don't always fit the situation but it's still a beautiful song. And don't be shocked about part three. I'm not making Grace appear as a ghost. That'd be to stupid. Guess House is just hallucinating a little. Vicodin, whisky & grief… A dangerous combination ;-)

Disclaimer: I do not own the show. The song "In Loving Memory" belongs to Alter Bridge.

In Loving Memory, Part I: Don't Expect Me To Cry

Grace was dying. She had been taken to the PPTH again, but this time, she was not talking very much. Most of the time she spent sleeping or whimpered quietly when her head seemed to explode. Her right eye had turned blind completely and her face was even paler than the last time. One could see that she was not well. She was as close to death as possible and she was aware of it.

"Ahm… Doc Foreman, right ?" she whispered, her eyes slightly opened.

"Yes. And you're Grace Dawson. You're _the Kid_ House visits quite often." Foreman returned as he was injecting her morphine.

"Yeah. Guess I'm sleeping most of the time 'cos I haven't seen im lately." She said quietly.

"True. It's because of the morphine." He confirmed.

"Could you do me… a favour ?" she asked. Her voice sounded weak. He actually did not want to bother her with questions. Not in her present condition. But at the same time he realized that it might probably the last chance to do so. Maybe a last chance to correct certain things that went wrong – at least from his point of view.

"Sure. But… I have a question first. It's about you and your intervention in House's and Cameron's relationship." He started.

"Go ahead. Might be your last chance." Grace returned quietly.

"Dr. Cameron is my friend. And… You know I believe that some things… just aren't meant to happen. I believe their relationship or whatever it is, is one of… these things. I know you didn't mean to harm anyone but I think they're just not good for each other. You've only known House for a couple of days. He _will_ hurt her. And maybe he'll even hurt himself." Foreman tried to explain. Grace smiled warmly at him. She read the worries that were written on his face and instantly knew that his intentions were good.

"Come closer, Doc." She whispered and motioned for him to sit down next to her bed. He obeyed and stepped closer. As he sat down, she took his right hand in both of hers and started to speak with a weak but still gentle voice:

"Of course he will. And she'll hurt him… That's what this whole love-relationship-thing is all about. Hurt, heartache, torture, longing… Without this there would be no love. But you should have more trust in your friend. She _can_ handle him. And most importantly, they need each other. You haven't seen them together recently. They _are_ good for each other. They don't show you here at work because they're professionals and… Greg certainly isn't one of these guys who're holding hands and kissing every second just because they're in the same room with the person they love. But there's nothing wrong about this. I'm almost blind… But I can see… that you're worried. And that you're just being protective. But there's no need to. Believe me." Foreman looked at her intensely. All of a sudden he could understand why she had such an impact on people – even on House. It was not only what she said, but how she said it. And even though she was almost dead, there was life in her eyes. He did believe her and asked no more questions.

Foreman wore a sad look when he entered the diagnostics office. He found Cameron and Chase sitting on the table while House was writing the symptoms of their new case on the board.

"Foreman. Is something wrong with you ?" Cameron wanted to know, noticing the expression on his face.

"Ahm… House ?" He addressed his boss who turned around after he had completed the list of symptoms.

"Yup ?"

"Grace Dawson wants to see you. I think it's time..." He told him. House sighed nodding and put the marker aside. He glanced at Cameron for a moment and told her silently to join him. Then, he left, followed by her, not saying anything.

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She was daydreaming when the door opened slowly and someone entered. She hardly managed to open her eyes to identify the person as House who was standing next to the bed. Grace tried to put on a smile but failed.

"Doc Greggy… Are you here... for Christmas presents ?" She spoke softly. He still had to smile about 'Greggy'.

"Yep. What do I get ?" To his surprise, she really had a present for him. She turned to her nightstand and reached out for a small red box.

"Got it from Paris. Thought you could use a new one. Hope… you like it." She whispered and gave the box to him. He opened it carefully and had to smile when he revealed a yo-yo from it. As he held it in his hands, he smiled sadly.

"Thanks, Kid. But that still doesn't mean that I like you." He replied.

"I know you like me." She whispered, breathing heavily.

"Save your energy, Kid. You shouldn't be talking." he told her with a for him unlikely gentle voice.

"I'm fine, dad… I'm on morphine today. My body is so deaf… I don't feel anything."

"Oh, I didn't figure that 'cos you're not singing." He put on a grin.

"If we're not… talking, why… are you here ?"

"First of all because you sent Foreman to tell me you want to see me. And secondly… To say thank you." House responded shortly.

"What ? That's it ? No kiss-goodbye ?" she coughed, returning his grin. House knew that it wouldn't be long until her body would give in to the pain. Her time was definitely up. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead that made her smile one last time.

"So… things are going great between Cameron… and you ?" she asked curiously as she recognized Cameron standing behind the window to her room, smiling.

"We're good. In fact, I've never been better. When I woke up this morning, I felt… completely satisfied, you know what I mean ?" Grace nodded. "And the sex is great !" he added with an evil grin.

"Honestly, I'm happy for you. Are you happy for yourself, doc ?" He did not answer her question with words. But the look in his eyes told her that he was.

"You know I'm not good at this. I usually avoid seeing one of my patients die."

"Which song did you pick ?" she wanted to know.

"I like 'In Loving Memory'. I know it doesn't have your name in it, but it still fits you. I also heard that most Sarah McLachlan songs are funeral classics. So worn out." He replied quietly.

"Good. Will… you attend… my funeral service ?" He answered with a nod and she could hear he was swallowing his upcoming tears. He would not cry. He would not let her know that he would miss her. But he definitely would.

"But don't expect me to cry." He attached.

"I never would…" she said and finally closed her eyes.

_Thanks for all you've done_

_I've missed you for so long_

_I can't believe you're gone…_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

You know she is dead because her chest isn't moving up and down. She is not breathing anymore. Still you don't move. You sit there and it feels like hours until she finally enters the room to comfort you with her presence.

"It's over." You say as she puts her hand on to your shoulder. You are amazed that even such a slight touch can soothe you so much. You need more of her to forget the pain that starts to fill your guts. That's why you stand up and embrace her. You hold her tight and you know you're thankful that she is with you right now. You don't cry. Although you want to you don't cry. You think the Kid would laugh about you if you cried and make some sarcastic joke on it. _Everybody lies – Doc Greggy cries._ Or something like that. You have to smile on the thought. You know you'll miss her terribly even though you have barely known her. You will miss her comments and her way of analyzing you. You will miss the advice she gave you and you will even miss her calling you Doc Greggy. But when you look at Cameron, you know that this is her gift to you. Grace made everything seem so easy. That's why you can hold Cameron now. You won't be alone with your grief. This you know when you look at your girlfriend's face, which is covered with tears instead of yours. Once more, she cries your tears. You decide to try very hard to make everything right. You want to cherish your friend's gift. It's not the yo-yo that you still hold in your hand. It's the woman that shares your sorrow. You know that Grace has changed you somehow. Not completely. But you know that she'll always have some kind of influence on your future decisions.

_You still live in me_

_I feel you in the wind_

_You guide me constantly_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

In Loving Memory, Part II: The Legacy

The funeral service was quite beautiful, although not many attended it. Cameron was holding your hand the whole time. You recognized Colin, the guy who had visited her once and with whom she had been to Europe. You also got to know Grace's sister Leah and her husband but you barely talked to them. You found it kind of strange and sad that you'd spent more time with Grace during the past weeks that Leah did during the past couple of years. You didn't think that she's a bad person. Still, she seemed cold and unsympathetic.

You remembered the first time you met Grace and also the moment she had asked you to pick a song for her funeral when "In Loving Memory" by Alter Bridge – "_Creed with a new singer, new name but same music"_ – was played. You could almost hear her voice.

_I never knew what it was to be alone, no_

_Cause you were always there for me_

_You were always home waiting_

_Now I come home and I miss your face, oh_

_Smiling back at me_

_I close my eyes to see_

_And I know_

_You're a part of me_

_And it's your song_

_That sets me free_

_I sing it while I feel I can't hold on_

_I sing tonight cause it comforts me_

It was mostly Cameron who tried to have a conversation with the other guests and you were appreciative for that because you didn't have to say much. You silently thought about Grace and wondered, what the guy at the restaurant must have thought when she'd made the reservation for her own funeral service months ago. You slightly smiled about that.

Colin seemed to be a pretty nice guy. A little weird. Some sort of heavy metal freak. But you liked him better that the sister and husband. He had at least been there for her. And he brought pictures from their trip to Europe. They showed them in Rome where Grace had decided to have her hair cut short. Colin had taken one photo of her making a face when her hair was falling on to the ground. And then the infamous Eiffel Tower pictures where she was lying unconscious on the floor of the spinning restaurant.

"She forced me to photograph every moment that she probably wouldn't remember. She laughed her ass off when I showed it to her." Colin said.

"I can imagine." You said grinning. Then he handed you an envelope with a letter in it.

"What's this ?" You asked with a confused look on your face.

"She wrote it in Europe. I believe she wrote to you every day. But when we were in Greece from where she wanted to send it, there were some little problems with the post offices, so she wanted to give it to you when we came back. She must have forgotten it. I found it at home on her desk. I think she would want you to read it." He explained with a smile on his lips. You just took the letter nodding, and put it into your jacket. You decided to read it later.

_I carry the things that remind me of you _

_In loving memory of_

_The one that was so true_

_You were as kind as you could be_

_And even though you're gone_

_You still mean the world to me_

_I never knew what it was to be alone, no_

_Cause you were always there for me_

_You were always home waiting_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

In Loving Memory, Part III: A Last Conversation

_Now I come home and it's not the same, no_

_Feels empty and alone_

_I can't believe you're gone_

You can't sleep. For some reason you can't find peace tonight even though Cameron is lying next to you, breathing regularly, sleeping peacefully. You get up slowly and suddenly realize that it might be the pain in your damaged leg that doesn't let you sleep. You grab your cane from the floor, trying to be quiet in order not to wake Allison up. From the nightstand you take the unopened letter and the little brown bottle that is filled with the beloved and healing vicodin.

You limp into the kitchen and prepare yourself a glass of whisky on the rocks, then head back to the living room where you sit down at the piano and pop a couple of pills. You empty the glass of whisky and gradually start to open the envelope. After a few seconds you eventually reveal a couple of sheets, which had Grace's beautiful handwriting on it. And while the vicodin-whisky combination starts to make you feel dizzy, you begin to read…

_Yo Doc Greggy ! (Oh, wait, no. That's no way to start a letter, is it ?) One more try:_

_Dear Greg ! (Way better, ain't it ?!)_

You grin broadly and think that it's so typical for Grace.

She tells you about Rome. She describes the scenery perfectly and you can nearly see the city appear in front of your eyes. She is walking through the streets and small lanes with you and explains the meaning of their names. You sit with her in a little café and watch the people go by. And you join her to the barber shop where he has her hair done.

You remember the day you saw her again after the Europe trip with the short and stylish hair. It feels good to read something she has written. It's almost as if she was still there. As if she wasn't dead. As if she was sitting right next to you on the piano, telling you with a lively voice about the trip.

_And I know_

_You're a part of me_

_And it's your song_

_That sets me free_

_I sing it while I feel I can't hold on_

_I sing tonight cause it comforts me_

_…It's true what people say about Paris. It's one of the most beautiful cities of the world. Hah, the city of love. True. Everywhere you go, you see couples being madly in love with each other, forgetting the world around. They probably even forget that they are in Paris, which is actually really stupid because why would you go to Paris if you forget that you're there ? Does this sound complicated ? Ah, forget it…_

You laugh and make a mental note to go to Paris with Allison for vacation. She'll love Paris. She's so extremely romantic.

Grace takes you to the Montmartre quarter where you sit above the rooftops of Paris, watching the sun go down. She tells you about the Eiffel Tower and that she does not really understand why the thing is so damn famous.

"It's just tall…" she says. You grin at that.

"See, size does matter." You state and you both start to laugh.

You're with her when she gets unconscious in the restaurant. You recall the pictures Colin showed you at the funeral and the yo-yo she gave to you for Christmas. You have to smile broadly. And you imagine her smiling with you now.

The end of the letter is way different. There's pain in every word and by the way she writes, you can tell that she is tired. She talks less about Greece than about the fact that it won't be long until everything would end. Then she makes a list. A list with things you should do or say when you have a lover's quarrel with Cameron.

"First of all: Apologize. Usually you're the one who screws up. It's not your fault. You're just not as sensitive as Cameron and moreover, you have no idea how to deal with human beings, but you'll learn fast. Secondly, do not hurt her and if you do, apologize. That's what normal people do when they hurt somebody else. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And last but certainly not least, tell her that you love her if none of your apologies convinced her to forgive you. She'll know that you're really sorry if you tell her that. Because she knows what it takes for you to admit this." She says. You know that she's right. And you smirk because even now that she's gone, she still analyzes you, still gives you advice and tells you what to do. She still has an impact on you and it amazes you because not many dead people have an influence on your life. So she's not completely gone.

_I'm glad He set you free from sorrow_

_I'll still love you more tomorrow_

_And you'll be with me still_

_All you did, you did with feeling_

_And you always found the meaning_

_And you always will_

_And you always will_

_And you always will_

_…My trip ends here in Greece. I suppose you'll get this letter when I'm back because we were told that it could take several months until it finally reaches you. Everything goes slower in Greece. The post offices are no exception._

_I'm probably dead when you read this. But that's actually why I wrote this letter. Because I don't know if I can tell you all of the crap personally. If so, then you certainly read it when you're alone._

"Although you're a tough guy who pretends that he never ever cries, no matter what happens, I can tell that you want to cry right now." She says, smiling sympathetically.

"Why would I wanna cry ?"

"Because after all you're but human. And you like me."

You read the lines and do not even realize, that a tear is slowly running down your face. And when you notice it, you wipe it away immediately. You do not cry because you're Greg House. You do not cry because you must not be weak. You look at the bottom of the letter.

_Best wishes from somewhere beyond this world,_

_Kid_

She's signed it with Kid. That is what makes the letter really personal. You were certainly the only one calling her that. You are lost in thoughts so you don't hear her enter the living room. Allison gently touches your shoulder. A cold rush is running down your spine. You're crying and she must not see you cry. You can't bare your soul to her like this. You feel ashamed and the first thing you want to do is to push her away. You want to tell her to leave you alone. You want to be gruff and mean, need to defend yourself. You don't want her pity.

"Greg ? What is it ?" she asks. And by the sound of her gentle voice, you abruptly do not want her to go away anymore. You turn around so she could see that you are crying. She does not laugh, nor do you see pity in her face. All you see is that she is worried about you. You see compassion, not pity. You see love. She loves you and it hurts her to see you so sad. But it hurts her even more that she knows you'll be pushing her away. She knows that you don't want her sympathy. And so she is just standing there, waiting for you to tell her to leave. Waiting for any comment that would make her slap your face and run out of the apartment. But the words wouldn't leave your mouth. Instead, to her surprise and your own, you wrap your arms around her waist and bury your head in her night-gown. You can't remember ever having cried in the presence of someone else. But it somehow does not feel strange at all. Right now it is perfectly OK for you to cry because it is Allison who comforts you. It had been a long process but then, somewhere between meeting Grace and now, you let her in. You want her to know you. You want her to see you. You want her to hold you and to tell you that everything will be alright. She runs her slender fingers through your greyish hair and places a soft kiss on it. She doesn't say a word. She is just there and holds you. She just loves you right now and that is all you need.

After a while that seemed like eternity, you look up at her, your eyes red from the tears you cried. You take her hand and motion for her to sit down next to you.

"You like Sinatra ?" you ask her smiling.

"He's a God." She says and smiles in return, sitting down next to you. While you let your fingers slide over the keys, playing the first notes of 'I've Got You Under My Skin', you lower your head and kiss her tenderly on her lips. And from that moment on, you forget about your doubts. Allison knows you now. And she is still there.

"I love you." You whisper into her ear as the kiss ends. She smiles at you happily, knowing that you really mean it.


	12. Of Illusions and Ghosts

A/N: I know it's been a long, long time. And I wasn't sure if I should write one mor chappi to this story. I killed of my OC and Greg and Cam are finally together. Well, then I came up with this final happy ending. I hope you like it. I know Grace is a kinda Mary Sue, got that when I read my own story again, but I have to admit I like Sues (also in fics by different authors) as long as they get killed or don't have a sexual relationship with one of the main characters who is supposed to be with someone else. And it's fun creating them, guess a lot of you know what I mean. Now, njoy.

Of Illusions and Ghosts

(Goodbye to You)

You look straight into her eyes. She is clearly visible to you and still you know that he's not really there. You hope you're wrong, but part of you knows that you're not. Grace sits opposite of yourself. In your imagination, she wears a black suit, still has the black short hair and the sparkling blue eyes. Just like you remember her from her last days, except that she looks a lot healthier. You know you're hallucinating but you don't care. You have these hallucinations on a regular basis since your leg has started to hurt more and you have to take more painkillers to anaesthetise the pain. Furthermore, your relationship with Cameron has become a serious issue. You still do not believe that love is meant to be forever. Maybe you do, but you refuse to admit it. It is against your nature. You are Greg House, a mean bastard, a miserable, horrible pain in the ass, not a warm and fuzzy pet. But you certainly believe that you love her, even though this has not been part of your plan. Cameron has not been part of your plan, neither has the Kid. And for some strange reason, you want to make it right this time. You want to make sure that it lasts because everyone needs a reason to live for, o keep going. Cameron is yours. Therefore, you are sometimes overwhelmed by your own feelings, cannot deal with them, or you just fucked it up once again and then you ask for help.

Grace Dawson has been dead for more than a year but you still keep thinking about her. She was your friend – sort of - and you are still mourning her – sort of – every now and then. Silently. When you're all by yourself. Mostly when you would have needed her advice or empathy so badly. And now you can at least imagine her. And it feels real. It is as if she was really there. You do not cry. You never do. The night after her funeral was an exception. You will never cry for her again. Because you imagine her laughing about you, making fun of you, humiliating you.

She is sitting in the chair on the other side of your desk, her legs resting on it. She remains silent, grinning, pushing her hair back from her face, waiting for you to speak first. You on the other hand want her to say something but after a while, you give her an annoyed look and begin to talk.

"Cameron's pregnant." You finally murmur into the apparition's direction.

"Congrats." She returns smiling.

"That's all you have to say ? Congrats ? I'm telling you that she's having a damn baby and this is all you can say ? You know I wouldn't be talking to a dead person if it wasn't important !" you shout at her.

"What do you want me to say ? 'Oh no, how the hell did that happen ? How will you get rid of this problem ?' Don't think so. Cos I guess you know how it happened and how to get rid of it. You want me to tell you that it's a good thing." She shouted back. You think about this for a couple of seconds.

"Can you imagine me as a dad ? C'mon, look at me, I'll be a horrible father ! I don't care about anyone. I don't want to take responsibility for anything. I'm a drug addict. How could I raise a child ? This is insane." You say while covering your eyes with your hands. You feel a little helpless and never ever would you have imagined that you would bare your soul like this. Then you remember that you are alone and that it does not matter how you look or feel or act right now.

"You care about Cameron." Grace implies. Of course you care about Cameron. You even start to care about the baby. If you did not care, you would have left them already. But you don't want to leave. You remember times when you were about to leave her. But thinking of all the beauty, comfort and even happiness she had brought into your life, you decided to stay. You are Greg House. You have learned to make compromises. You are no longer an egoistic asshole. Not every day, not every second of your life.

You remember the moment she told you that she was pregnant. One week ago, she had taken one day off because she had felt kind of sick. When you returned home that evening, she was waiting for you, tears running down her beautiful face. You could not even tell if they were tears of joy or sorrow. You sat down next to her and carefully put an arm around her shoulders.

"What is it ?" You asked concerned.

"I swear, this wasn't planned. You have to believe me." She whimpered.

"What happened ? Tell me." You said with a gentle voice.

"I… I'm two months pregnant." She finally admitted. You try to recall what you felt in that very special moment. You remember the sickness that was rising in your stomach. The same sickness you had felt when you had realized that you are in love with her. You think of fear and confusion. But you also still know that you were not really shocked by the news. To her surprise, you took her in your arms and put a kiss on her hair.

"And that's not a good thing ?" You enquired softly, yet uncertain.

"I don't know. Is it ?" she returned with a trembling voice.

"Do you think I'd leave you ?" you went straight to the point.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it. I'm still not. Yes, I'm afraid that you'll leave me." She admitted, pulling away from you. For some reason you were not surprised that she said this, but still, it kind of shocked you hat she still thought of you this way. That moment you realized how much you had really changed. It actually hurt you that she could think you would leave her because of her pregnancy.

"I won't leave you." That was the only thing you said to her. It was not making leaps of joy, it was not much. But it was certainly enough for her to stop crying and falling into your arms again. You spent the rest of the evening on the sofa, watching TV. And while she was sleeping peacefully in your arms, you caught yourself gently caressing her belly with your hand.

"I love her." You whisper, staring into nothing.

"You're just afraid to fail. But you won't. I promise. What can go wrong with you as a dad ? You're a doctor, when you let him/her fall, you're the right person to be there." You knew Grace would make a similar comment, therefore you picture her to say this. You laugh silently and realize once more how much you liked her sense of humour.

"What does heaven look like ?" You ask her. You do not expect an answer but you still hope to get one.

"How do you imagine it ?" her soft voice echoes in your mind.

"I asked you first."

"I'm not really here. I'm only the product of your thoughts. However you imagine heaven – that'll be the way I describe it to you."

"Ah, right. Forgot about that. You are a very realistic illusion." You smile at her although you know that there is nobody but you in the room.

"I take that as a compliment." She replies with a gentle voice, slightly smiling at you.

"You're really not here, are you ?" you once more ask.

"No. Stop asking these questions. They lead into nothing."

"Then why do I see you ? I mean, I know I'm not crazy. Still, you look so real."

"Because you're a sick man who takes too many drugs." You smile at that. She is right. You know you are an addict. You know that what you do to yourself is not healthy. Still you can't stop taking the pills every day. Firstly because of the pain. Secondly because your body is used to the drug and you're addicted. But also because the mixture of pain and drugs makes you hallucinating about the Kid. You don't admit it, not even to Cameron, but you miss her. You miss her sarcasm and the way she made things easier, you miss her craziness and her advice. You know you are fooling yourself but you do not care. Not at all.

"You shouldn't be here right now. You should go home." She says with a gentle voice.

"Why ?"

"Because it's Christmas Eve and you should be at home with Cameron instead of being here in your office, talking to a hallucination." She explains, sarcasm dripping off her voice.

"Cameron is not religious. I don't think she gives a fuck about Christmas." You say gruffly.

"Crap ! You know better, Greg. She may not believe in God. But she loves Christmas. I loved Christmas, too, although I wasn't very much into religion either. Cameron loves buying presents. She loves to wrap them into all sorts of paper and boxes just to see your reaction when you rip it off again and see what's in it. She adores Christmas trees and snow. Just like I did. You should be with her. It means something to her. She even gave you a present when you weren't together, back then, when she had started to fall for you, remember ?" Grace says smiling.

"How do you know about… Oh, yeah, I'm having a conversation with myself."

"And you should stop doing this." She adds smirking.

"Oh great. My hallucination tells me to stop hallucinating. I must be completely off my mind. Why don't you leave me alone then ? You think I'm better off without you, so leave !" You shout at her. You actually didn't mean to shout. You like her company although nothing of this really happens in reality.

"Beg your pardon ?" Grace returns rolling her eyes.

"Leave me alone ! You drive me crazy ! I am already crazy ! Why am I even talking to you ? You don't exist. You don't exist." You shout at her angrily, a touch of despair dripping off your voice. You want her to leave, but still you don't.

"Excuse me, but I am _your _hallucination, not vice versa. If you didn't want me to be here, I definitely wouldn't be here. But you miss Grace, that's why you think of her, that's why you see me. I know this because you know this. I'm the reflection of your thoughts, nothing more and nothing less. You want me to go, fine. Stop doing drugs and think of something else. Something real." She shouts back at you and you know she's right.

"Any suggestions ?" you ask grumpily.

"How about your family ? You'll soon be one, you Cameron and your kid. Focus on that and on your work, your life, your future. Not the past." Her tone is more gentle again and the look she gives you hurts and comforts you at the same time.

"True. What about you ? Care to join us ?" you ask.

"Oh for cryin' out loud, Greg. I thought you've just asked me how to get rid of me." It is hard for you to finally let go. She knows. She would know if she was here.

"You don't need me any longer," she continues, "you don't have to pretend to have a friend. You're not alone anymore. Look at you, your life is changing drastically. And it's a positive thing. Grace will always be with you somehow. In your memory. But you have to let go. Sometimes I believe that you keep doing this just to have a reason to be miserable. She is NOT an excuse to be sad. You don't have a reason to be depressed. Not anymore."

You give her a soft smile as she is winking at you. Then she disappears. You have just said goodbye to her. Finally. When you open your eyes, you find yourself sitting behind your desk and remark, that the sadness is gone. As well as the hallucination. But you do not bother, you do not cry, there is no heartache, instead the thought of Allison and your baby crosses your mind. And suddenly, you want to get home as fast as possible.

"House ?" Wilson's voice suddenly shakes you out of your thoughts. "What are you still doing here ? Shouldn't you be at home ?"

"You're right. I don't know what I'm doing here. Yup, what the hell am I doing here ?" You look like you are talking to yourself. And without even saying goodbye to James, you rush out of your office. You have to go home.

You've just arrived at your apartment and are now about to unlock the door when it suddenly flows open and Allison welcomes you with a stormy hug.

"Greg ! I've been worried about you. You didn't answer my phone calls and I already thought something happened to you." She murmured while burying her face in your leather jacket. When you look at your cellphone, you realize that you missed about seven calls. All from Allison. You apologize, carefully hug her back and give her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Sorry. I was stuck in a conversation. Was kind of important." You say softly.

"Is everything alright with you ? You look tired." She notices. You smile at her. It feels good to come home when there is somebody waiting for you.

"Yep. Now it is." You say while closing the door behind you.

You are nervous but you consider it normal as every man is nervous before taking the final step to eternal slavery. Getting married.

But when she walks down the aisle, wearing a simple, yet beautiful wedding gown, you forget about the doubts, the hundreds of voices in your head that keep screaming 'no' in our head. She makes you feel complete. Allison. And everything else is not important to you. Not anymore. Your little daughter is sitting in the front row next to her grandparents. Little Charlene Grace House was the spitten image of her mother. Auburn hair, a naturally beautiful face, a gorgeous smile. But you see yourself in her steel blue eyes. You created her. You and Allison. And she is nothing but perfect. You did not want to name her after Grace although Allison suggested it. But you found it way too corny to name your child after a dead friend. But you made a compromise with Allison and agreed to make Grace her middle name.

When you exchange your wedding vows, it does not feel strange, quite the reverse, it feels natural. And nobody makes fun of you, because you just decide to share your life with the only person who could ever handle you. Allison Cameron, your companion, lover and mother of your child.

You kiss her and now you are officially Mr. and Mrs. Gregory House. Charlene's parents are finally married, four years after her birth. Allison has tears in her eyes when she looks at you as your wife for the first time. And you do not find it stupid that she cries. You have no intention to shout at her for being a cheesy, instead you smile at her happily.

Your leg only hurts slightly today even though you are not on vicodin. You did not want to be high on your wedding day. Therefore you are even more shocked when you see her standing in the back row of the church when you walk out. You are not on drugs, you did not drink any alcohol, your mind is as clear as it could be, still you can see her standing there, smiling, dressed in a white suit, winking at you when you walk on by. You give Allison a confused look, and she returns it with the same amount of confusion in her eyes. She has seen her, too. You are not high, you are not crazy. When you turn around to see if she is still there, Grace was gone, was she ? Maybe she has just left for a while, you think and then kiss your lovely wife again, as little Charlene grabs your hand…


End file.
